Feelings That I Can't Describe.

I am just moodless without you.

I Really Wish To See Her!!!

I Don't Know How To Express My Current Feelings, I Really Want To See You, Eve!

Why Can't You See It?

Please my love, don't ever switch to another topic just to ignore me. You forgot what you told me the other day at the car, or maybe it's just not that important for you. Or maybe I'm just being over-reacted? I don't know why at this very moment eventhou your talking bout me and my sis wedding it's hurting my heart, and it's aching really badly.

I know I doesn't have the authority to do so, infront of you cause I'm just a nobody. I does know now? The other day I tried so hard and you said your not going anywhere. Today you tell me a totally different story, IT'S JUST SO SAD.

I just don't know how to tell you this in a direct instant-messages such as msn, sms or on the phone. I just hope you'll see this later on, and you'll understand? Or will I be accused as ' Who the hell are you?'. I am really afraid. I really do when I have the thoughts that in your heart I am merely a puppet on a broken strings that is worst than a friend you despise most.

Love, Nixon

Will You Still Love Me?

Eve, it's happy to see you yesterday eventhou it's just for a moment. Facing you now it's really different because it's been so long we had a conversation inside a car. I wanted to hug you really when I got in your car.

I wonder and wonder, why? why could it be like this now, and the things you wrote in the sms yesterday got me questioning myself is it really doesn't worth to get back your love? After sometime it's really clear to me that I still miss you so very much and I could do whatever it takes to have you back by myside.

Eve, Please, without you life it's so much more incomplete and at the same time everything I did or going to do, it just lack of something that will encourage me to do better. Will you still love me, if I say I'm still holding the memory that you once implanted in my mind to keep my everyday life going?

I love you, Thanks for giving me a chance to see you.

I'm Happy To See Her.

When to Poppy last night. Guess what? The most unpredictable things happened, Eve was there too she came by at almost 1 a.m plus and I was so happy to see her, we hugged each other, we kissed although she will just treat it as a normal friend kiss. But sincerely I treated it like last time still, my darling.

No doubt, it was fun I could dance with her, I could hug her. Due to the influence of alcohol, but still it was memorable, i even got wasted. She taken care of me like I do to her last time when we were having trip to Phuket, Thailand. I was happy she accompany up to my place and put me on my bed and even helped me to take off my socks?

Even given me a good night kissed before she left, i wanted to make her stay a lil' longer but I'm just too drunk? I don't even have the energy to raise my head from the bed. I was mad at that time. But still I should be thankful it happen. Yet felt sorry I din't get her home myself.. I love you, girl.

Lonely and Just Need Her...

I webcam with Eve last night, it was just so sweet and it makes me feel so delighted that i finally can see her face as long as I can since we're over. I lost that chance. Yesterday was totally satisfaction, I don't know when was the last time I had that feeling, feeling of joy and happiness just by talking to her thru msn messenger while she switch on her's webcam.

She hasn't changed much, her hair is still silky smooth and nontheless long as usual which i love to hold so much back to the days we're together. Her pair of eyes that is still so mesmerising, and especially her smile that truly makes me feel happy just by taking a glance over it.

What can i say more? I still miss her really much. I actually shed tears when i just looked at her. staring at her while she was just watching tv, because it just brings back so much memories. I just can't accept the fact that i lost her. After 3 years. And i just want to apologize for that lame joke i made. I'm so stupid, but hey i'm not like that no more, I'd changed. Still I'm so sorry.

Forgive Me Please, Eve?

Hope I Could Talk To You Again In Messenger Soon, Like Last Night?

The Silence Has Finally Broken.

My name is Nixon, i'm going to turn 21 this year and I am still nothing, still have no career and failed in my education and that makes me really sick of myself. But finally, today everything change in the year of 2009, the first time in my life it's so clear to me on what I am suppose to do. This is the best feeling ever.

It finally come clear that I wasn't suppose to study when i finish my year in secondary school, study was the thing that I will never be good at but still i try and try to accomplish it, trying so hard that everytime i will just ended failing so misery that it's hard for me to stand up, throughout the year i was accompanied by my girlfriend, no i should say ex-girlfriend because we finally broken up after 3 years straight dissappointing her over and over again because of my incompetence in my education. I'm so sorry girl. Sincerely, I apologize Eve. I owe you too much.

It makes me want to cry losing you. Your always so innocence yet so brilliance in guiding me. So, everyone said is a new year and everything comes new in this time of life. I really hope so, 09 I finally will be someone and something that everyone will look up to. I won't dissappoint anyone ever again I promise. I will start with working in my father's security firm, from the bottom offcourse. Someday, I'm sure i'll be able to take over his place as Chairman of the company. Till then, let me just flash back to some sweet memories i've gone thru with her.